Networking on Grindr: Mentorship, Access and the Untapped Power of Gay Community
Grindr can be more than just hookups. It’s a uniquely gay space where mentorship, connection, and opportunity can form -- but only if you're willing to look beyond the surface. Here's how the gay community is quietly connecting.
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Dating Apps, Personal Branding, and First Impressions
You've undoubtedly seen bios on Tinder, Bumble, and Grindr that look a little something like a ploy to gain Instagram followers. This is one of the many ways that gay guys use dating applications to build their personal brands and gain influence. While I personally hate matching with profiles like that, I do think there are other more effective ways to leverage untraditional social media platforms like Grindr and Tinder to build a network and gain professional opportunities.
You Can Actually Network on Grindr
You can network on Grindr. There is a whole button for it and everything. I swear. Go look. And as dubious as it sounds, I've actually met a few mentors on Grindr myself. This is because tools like Grindr and Tinder have powerful filters that, as problematic as they are, are extremely powerful for individuals.
Grindr isn't a professional platform -- but it is a uniquely gay one
Grindr Filters
The age filter is what I typically use to find friends around my age, you know, people to hit up the bars or check out the gay clubs — go drinking and hang out. However, I've also used the age filter to find mentors in a variety of subjects. I can actually think of about 10 mentors that I have anywhere between the ages of 35 and 60.
Although we initially connected on this dating or hookup app, these connections are non-sexual and entirely platonic.
These are men with a collective hundreds of years of experience in entertainment, medical technology, screenwriting, marketing, investments — and I've learned a ton from them over the years.
Learning Across Generations
These are all things I am interested in learning more about — and do — over cups of coffee, dinner or glasses of wine. Although Grindr is largely a cesspool (with me included) it is one of the few places that gay men can meet and interact with people of all ages, races, and sizes, and it's a place where you already have something in common with everyone there: queerness.
That in itself is invaluable because it doesn't matter where you come from, what you do, or how much money you make — the people on Grindr are fully accessible, and Grindr (as well as the internet) provides this space to connect. That makes dating apps incredibly powerful social engagement tool. It's for this reason I highly value the forum, despite its many flaws, that Grindr provides for men of all ages.
The Value of the Elder Gay Community
Our elder gay community is a grossly under-tapped resource for young gay men. A resource of knowledge and experience. This is due in part to much of the vanity, over-sexualization and narcissism within the community, but also due in part to society at large (at least American society) in that the spheres of youth and maturity remain largely separate.
There are few forums in American society where people of all ages, young and old, can come together to share ideas and even become friends. However, it's on Grindr that people of all background come together and connect. From a networking perspective, I've not only learned a ton from my elder gay mentors, but I've also gained professional opportunities.
When using dating apps already for hookups and dates, why not explore other possibilities like networking and connection?
Professional Opportunities Through Mentorship
One of my elder gay friends owns a marketing agency, and when I was in college studying marketing and business analytics, I was in the market for opportunities to gain experience. He actually brought me on board to a project that his organization was working on — a marketing research project for a sports company.
Opportunities like these are made possible because of the access that my elder gay friends have to experience, knowledge, and contacts — resources well beyond my own. This is just one example of how mentorship is one of those trickle down benefits that you can gain from connecting with members of the elder gay community utilizing a platform like Grindr.
Addressing Stigma and Setting Intentions
Many members of our elder gay community want nothing more than to help young gay men along their own paths to success or self-discovery. And having someone like that in your life is incredibly rewarding. Now given a lot of the stigma in society regarding relationships between younger and older men, I do want to touch upon an extremely powerful Grindr filter that I think will lay some of that stigma to rest: That is the “Looking For" filter.
If you're seeking a hookup, set your status to Right Now, but there are also options for: Chat, Friendship, and Relationships. You can leverage the Looking For filter to ensure that the people you are seeing on your feed — and whose feeds you pop up on — have the same ideas in mind about what you're doing on the app.
Combining the Looking For filter with something like the Age filter is an incredible combination to find Elder Gay mentors who want nothing more than to just chat, hang out, and make friends.
Devil’s Advocate: Using Grindr Intentionally
Now I do want to play devil's advocate for a little bit because what I'm talking about is using Grindr — a hookup application — as a tool for professional networking and… the two don't jive. And your first reaction is probably, “Huh? Using Grindr for friends? Using Grindr for mentors? PLEASE. You are here for the same thing the rest of us are here for!"
For the most part, that is true!
Mostly anyone — including your ex-boyfriend — who claims to be using Grindr for friends or networking is... probably lying, and that's simply because of the nature of the platform.
However, my point isn't to log on to Grindr and use it explicitly for networking and professional opportunities. Rather, I recommend that while using Grindr already for hookups and dates and friendships and conversations, that you also remember that it maintains capabilities beyond that, which allow you to expand your horizons past just hookups and dates.
Remember that you can use these tools in a more productive way, especially if you're gonna be spending a ton of time on them.
Building a Versatile Profile
Now if you want to gain the most utility out of your profile in terms of: being able to talk to people for the sake of 1) hookups, but also for the sake of 2) relationships and 3) networking, then your profile needs to be able to speak to all three categories.
That is, it may be difficult to navigate a more proper and professional conversation if your profile picture is of your... hairy glistening chest, that lends itself more to the hookup category. Similarly, having a photo with your head cropped out kind of makes it difficult for someone to try and date you or befriend you.
So I recommend making your profile look something similar to what it looks like on Tinder or Hinge. This is because those profiles speak to multiple different audiences, and as such, you don't pigeonhole yourself into only finding hookups with your bare chest or only finding professional connections with a picture of you in a suit.
Closing Thoughts
A more casual profile lends itself to multiple types of conversations — it’s simply more universal. And when it comes to networking, it’s worth remembering that it’s a long game.
Some users make the mistake of using Tinder or Grindr primarily to funnel people toward their social media profiles in an effort to grow an online following. While this might get your handle in front of more eyes — especially if you’re swiping on everyone — it rarely delivers what people actually want: a genuinely engaged, loyal audience.
That’s because when you bait people into becoming part of your “audience,” trust is harder to earn. If someone finds you through Tinder or Grindr, chances are they’re less interested in your fashion influencer page and more interested in you — who you are, how you think, and whether there’s a real (dating) connection.
Dating apps, like any other social platform, are ultimately spaces for human connection. The real value doesn’t come from plugging your Instagram handle or chasing numbers. It comes from showing up as a full person, staying open to unexpected conversations, and recognizing that some of the most meaningful connections don’t look like networking at all.
So no, Grindr isn’t a professional platform — but it is a uniquely gay one. And if you’re already spending time there, it’s worth understanding what else it can make possible.